This morning I woke with an aching back and a desire to spend the day in bed. I put on a favorite skirt, pushed through the morning, made it through work. Today I stepped out of my box. I did two things for myself that were new and foreign and simply put my mind and body first. While sitting down nervously and anxiously waiting for the first of my two caring activities to begin I opened my book: Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges.
I opened to this week’s passage and it was a reflection on humility and how difficult it can be to ask for help. The writer was reminded of a time she was force to ask for help. She shares how uncomfortable and foreign this simple act can be. As a culture we are valued when we can do it all- multi task to the max! We find technology and tools that help ourselves achieve this goal. Often a person who appears to not have it all together is looked down upon.
Well today, I humbly say, I needed some help, both in mind and body. And after the overwhelming feeling that I wasn’t good enough or didn’t deserve it I realized that it was ok. Truthfully it felt oh so good to allow myself a pass, to recognize that I don’t need to shy away from the fact that I am far from perfect and that I can find way to receive help. So this afternoon/evening I opened up, I became in tuned to my own inner voice and said I need this. I enlisted two women and spent 90 minutes in my small quest for balance. I have to say this was an incredible and eye opening thing! I spent time on me. I stepped out of my role as mother, worker, wife, community member and simply was just Jessica. It felt good and I think I may work to incorporate a bit more to say that:
No, I cannot do it all.
Yes, I do need help.
And that it is alright!